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Soul Sustenance 03-11-2012
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Resolving Conflicts in Relationships (Part 2)
During a conflict, it is good to realize that the energy that you put into the conflict
will possibly be the quality of energy that you will receive in return.
This is the law of reciprocity (cause and effect). On a subtle level, we
radiate according to our attitude, and on a physical level, we radiate according
to our behavior. What we transmit on a subtle or/and physical level will return
to us in a similar way; unless the ‘other’ is wiser and decides not to give us back
the same negative energy, but rather to treat us in exchange with a positive attitude
and pro-active behavior. That way, that person won't bring about a dependence inside
us, but rather they will help us to free ourselves of our own negativity.
Often, conflict between two people happens because we do not get the result in a
relationship that we want; we are stuck to getting a specific result and
we allow our happiness to depend on getting it. On not getting it, we use a wrong
method; we generate a conflict, we feel ourselves to be victims, we blame the other,
we project our pain onto them; all of this under the belief that others - the other
- is who makes us happy or unhappy. This is a false belief. When your happiness
depends on your expectations being fulfilled, it is difficult to be happy in a constant
way. Often expectations are disguised desires, and where there are desires there
is fear - the fear of not getting what you want. When you don't get it you get unhappy
and, in so doing, you keep happiness away from you. It is good to set yourself goals
of peaceful relationships, but if they are not fulfilled or if these goals take
time to achieve, don't lose your sense of wellbeing. Your happiness is a much more
valuable treasure than the external achievement of your expectations and of those
that others have of you.
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Message for the day 03-11-2012
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Problem solving is to work at the roots of a problem.
Expression: When a problem comes up we usually try to work at removing the
problem at hand by trying various methods based on the understanding we have. We
don't go deep into the actual cause of the problem and so find it repeating again
and again. Unless we understand the root cause of the problem we will not be able
to get rid of it fully.
Experience: The trick to problem solving is to go to the root, i.e. to find
the actual cause. When we find and work at removing the actual cause of the problem
we will never find it repeating. For example, if the actual problem might be inability
to finish everything in time, the cause behind might not be lack of sufficient time,
but my own carelessness.
In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris