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Soul Sustenance 12-06-2013
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Fears And Dependencies In Relationships (cont.)
With dependency in relationships (as discussed yesterday) we enter into an energy
of pleasing others so that they might continue to appreciate us. We base our self-esteem
and personal security on the appreciation of these people. We stop acting in a natural,
free and spontaneous way because we are worried about pleasing the one from whom
we are taking mental, emotional or physical support.
Into this energy of dependence enters fear: fear of losing the support of that person,
fear they will get angry, fear that they might not like us any more, fear that they
might reject us, etc. That fear is a signal that warns us of our emotional weaknesses
and of our lack of self-esteem. Fear brings on a greater inner insecurity, which
makes us carry on holding on to that dependence.
There are people who, after entering into a energy of dependence and suffering because
of it, leave that relationship with the objective of freeing themselves from the
pain it brings about in them. Then they begin another relationship, where they generate
the same energy. The solution is not in a change of relationship with another person,
although on occasions that might help us. If we don't change this energy internally
and if we don't learn to have a solid base of self-esteem, we will continue to depend
on the appreciation and affection of others in order to appreciate and love ourselves.
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Message for the day 12-06-2013
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The one who has the spirit of service is free from wasteful thinking.
Projection: It is usually thought of as an additional burden to think of
serving others. The usual thought is to think of first serving oneself and when
one is content to think of serving others. But this thought makes one miss out on
the fact that both service to oneself and service to others are complementary to
each other, one helping the other in a positive way.
Solution: When we take on the responsibility of bringing benefit to others,
i.e., when we consider ourselves as a humble server we will be free from wasteful
and negative thinking. We will not waste our thoughts and energy on something that
is not worthwhile, something that is not going to bring benefit to anyone. So each
thought, word and action of ours becomes elevated.
In Spiritual Service,
Brahma Kumaris