Monday, November 29, 2021

Happiness: Incorrect Beliefs And The Truth (Part 2)

Happiness: Incorrect Beliefs And The Truth (Part 2)

Yesterday we identified how owing to one wrong belief, we had equated happiness to our accomplishments. Today let us check two more incorrect beliefs and understand the truth.


Belief 2: I can buy happiness.

Suppose I believe that buying my dream car gives me happiness, I may purchase and own the most expensive car. I have essentially bought physical comfort. While on a long drive in it, I could get one phone call conveying an unpleasant news which finishes my happiness. If my car gave happiness, happiness would stay despite the call. Even after the call, my car continues to give physical comfort and my physical body is comfortable. Since happiness is an emotional comfort, it disappeared when I (who is looking for happiness) went into pain after the call. Why do we feel happy upon buying a car? Because when we create a thought - I bought my dream car it generates a feeling of happiness. So we used an object (car) as a stimulus to create a response (positive thought).


Truth: Let us not purchase objects seeking happiness in them. Everything physical is designed to give physical comfort. Happiness is an emotional comfort.


Belief 3: Family and friends give me happiness.

Oscillating between acceptance and expectations, our relationships are getting strained. We focus on what to get from relationships rather than give. Our expectations from each other is getting long. We are accepting people only when they, speak, behave as per our needs. If I equate my happiness to others obeying me, it cannot last. No sooner than someone obeys the first time, I hand out my next expectation. So happiness leaves me at this point, only to return if the person obeys again. Else I get upset. People have their definitions of rights and wrongs, so setting expectations will always hamper relationships and ruin happiness.


Truth: No one can make us happy or sad. Happiness is our emotion, our internal creation regardless of quality of our relationships.

icon

Message for the day


To do something altruistic each day is to ensure happiness.


Expression: When there is the thought to do something altruistic for someone every day, there is the ability to give happiness unconditionally. Whatever the relationship or whatever the personality of the other person, the one who develops the habit of doing this, is able to remain a source of support for those around. 


Experience: The best gift I can give is to give happiness and to finish sorrow.  When I am constantly thinking of this, not for any reward but just for the sake of it, I am able to discover and enjoy the fruit of that action.  I am free from expectations and am able to enjoy the action itself.